There is a fine line between looking at yourself with a critical eye and bashing yourself, and I am hanging out on the bashing side. I’ve decided it’s time to take control of my inner critic.
I’ve been thinking about it for a while now. Disappointment has been evident on my face after lifts. Friends are reluctant to tell me about their accomplishments for fear it will cause me to tear myself down. My husband sometimes feels like he has to treat me with kid gloves.
Then this morning Jeff asked who did Fight Gone Bad 6 and how we did. My answer: “Meh.”
“Cindy, you’re always disappointed with how you do,” Beth chimed in.
Hmmm… you know, she’s right. Why can’t I celebrate my accomplishments more? Why do I always have to tear myself down?
Later on, I came across an article that really struck a chord with me. I even Tweeted it out. It’s geared specifically toward web design, but I think the basic principles can be applied toward anything, even working out and Crossfit. I love the tips at the end, and I plan on practicing them. Here’s a link to the post:
Banishing Your Inner Critic from A List Apart
The article is great about putting the inner critic in perspective. It’s not about ignoring that inner critic — because it means well. In fact, it’s what drives us to be better rather than complacent. But the inner critic should be controlled and used in a more positive way.
So I need to keep that in mind while looking at how I did in this morning’s WOD. We revisited a benchmark from 6 weeks ago that I’ve been doing every few months for the past year.
12 Deadlifts (M 155# / W 105#)
9 Hang Power Cleans
6 Push Jerks
In early August I did “DT” at 65# and finished in 14:34. It was slower than my time in March with the same weight. I was very disappointed. So this morning I decided to test myself and use the same weight.
I blew my August time out of the water.
Time: 9:38 @ 65#
When I called “Time!” Zach looked shocked. He said something like, “What the hell girl?!” and fussed at me to up the weight.
Well, duh. But I wasn’t expecting to knock nearly 5 minutes off my time.
Of course, I also forgot that I did this exact same WOD on September 5th at 70#. It was one I did at home that I didn’t label as “DT” so I forgot all about it. I finished it in 13min that time.
I wish I had remembered, because I would have added weight this morning — for sure. Oh well. Sometimes you just need to tear through a WOD. It feels good to conquer something.
Next time: 75# at least. In under 12 minutes.