Tag Archives: total

Bedtime stories and a week of PRs

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Some people think we’re weird, but we don’t watch TV at my house. We ditched the TV years ago. Instead, we read.

Luke has a chair he curls up in with a book, and Mads has started bringing me books to read to her. At bedtime, Andy and I have been trading off reading chapter books to them. They listen and gradually fall asleep.

Unfortunately, I’ve been falling asleep too. That means I’ve been getting a great night’s sleep. It’s a little annoying, because there’s tons of work to do after the kids go to bed, but it’s been awesome for my workouts this week. It’s amazing what a difference a little rest can make.

“Crossfit Total”
1-1-1
Back squat → 135-145-150
Shoulder Press → 65-70-70
Deadlift → 185-190-195

Crossfit Total was split over Tuesday and Thursday.  I had PRs on all of the Crossfit Total lifts this week. I worked hard for each of those PRs — especially that deadlift. I was fighting to lift that 190# bar. I wish I had been able to lift 195#, but it didn’t budge. It’s amazing what a difference 5 pounds made. I’m sure it was partly mental, too.

I like the sleep I’ve been getting, but I’m trying not to let myself fall asleep that early every night. If you know me, then you know I have a zillion side projects and chores to take care of. TV? I don’t have time to watch TV!

Crossfit Total for September 2011

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Cindy at the top of a 165# deadlift

I have gone back and forth over what to write about this month’s benchmark: Crossfit Total.

I considered being all cheery and focusing on the positive.  I considered writing nothing at all.  And I considered being real, and perhaps revealing a bit more than I would normally, since I’m an extremely private person when it comes to certain things.

I decided to be real. A very tough decision for me, since I know many of the people who read this personally, and it’s hard putting myself out there.

I came home from class Thursday morning and cried.

I cried because I feel like something is wrong with me that is bigger than sleep and training and nutrition. And I don’t know what it is.

Crossfit Total
Backsquat
1-1-1
Shoulder Press
1-1-1
Deadlift
1-1-1

Results:
Backsquat 125-135-135
Press: 65-70-70
Deadlift: 165-185-185

There’s nothing I feel like I can add to explain away those numbers. They are lower than previous max lifts. Here’s how I did in June.  Here’s how I did in March. I’m just not strong right now. I feel weaker.

I look back at the past 6-9 months, and there is a common thread. I have been suffering from chronic hives on my trunk, a condition I have been to numerous doctors to diagnose, explain and hopefully cure. It took a while to diagnose. I’ve just gone through a second round of lab tests, knowing that there is only a 30% chance they will figure out the cause. A cure is even less likely, according to the numbers.

I have taken topical medications, oral medications, tried this, tried that. Only this week I was thrilled to be told by yet another doctor that I could stop taking one medication at night, which is kind of like Benedryl. The next morning I felt like a million dollars. It was the first time I wasn’t dragging in weeks.  Too bad it didn’t lead to a better lift day.

Andy and I talk about this craziness a lot. I’ve gotten serious about my nutrition, water, and even sleep (although it’s still not ideal, but hey — I’ve got an infant). It’s taken 6 months for us to start wondering whether the hives have anything to do with how I feel in the gym. But it’s frustrating not to know for sure.

I don’t intend to give up. I’m going to get stronger. Days like I’ve had this week remind me I’ve got a long way to go, but they are just days.

I go home, hug Andy, take my shower and move on about my day. If anything, I have come to an obstacle I must scale to overcome. I’ve done it before.

I’ll do it again.

Crossfit Total — A mixed bag

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It seems like everyone is getting PRs when we do Crossfit Total.  Everyone but me, that is.

It’s kind of frustrating.  I want to keep up with everyone and have my own success story to tell.  “Oh yeah!  I PR’d by 10 pounds!”  But that hasn’t happened in a while.

Part of my problem is the same ole same ole — lack of sleep.  Who knows about the rest.  Maybe I’ve hit a plateau.  I don’t know.  The point is, it was Total week, and I’m not all that pleased with how it went.

Back Squat
Shoulder Press
Deadlift
1-1-1

Back squat  — 115-125-145

Shoulder Press — 58-65-70

Deadlift — 165-175-185

On a positive note, I’m back up to 185# on my deadlift.  I haven’t been there in a year, and while it’s not a PR, it’s a good thing to be back at that level.  I’m annoyed my back squat is still stalled out at 125, which is well below the 145# I got to last year.  As for shoulder press, I’m annoyed I scratched at 70# when I was able to press that same weight just a few days before.

Grrrrr….

Handling failure

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“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”
– Winston Churchill

How do you handle failure?

Be honest with yourself.  No one is listening.

How do you handle it?  Do you get mad at yourself?  Do you gloss over it and try to be positive?  Do you give up?  Or do you turn your failure into a success?

One of the things I have learned as part of being a parent is that feelings are OK.  Mine AND my child’s.  I don’t tell Luke or Mads not to cry.  I don’t tell them not to be angry.  Because that’s stupid. They’re upset.  They’re scared.  Feelings happen. What is important is to acknowledge their feelings.  Let them REALLY feel them.  Otherwise, how can they possible learn to handle them as adults?

It’s important not just to do that for children, but also ourselves.  It’s stupid to gloss over feelings of frustration when we fail just because some self-help book told us we have to stay positive.  Yes — positive attitudes count, but embracing our initial feelings is incredibly important so we CAN move on to being positive.

Where am I going with this ramble?  My perceived failure this morning on Part 2 of Crossfit Total.

Shoulder Press
Deadlift
1-1-1

Results:
Shoulder Press — 60-65-65
Deadlift — 155-175-195

I’m not happy with how I did.  My shoulder press goal was 80#.  My max is 70#.  And I couldn’t even lift 65#.  (Here’s how I did last time.)

I’m less disturbed by the deadlift.  I had further to go with that after pregnancy.  But my max last year was 185#.  I wanted to return there, and even beat it.  It’s true that I deadlifted more this time than last time, but it still feels like failure.

Here’s what’s going to happen.  I’m going to think about my lifts this morning — probably for the rest of the day.  There may be some pouting involved.  There may even be some excuse-making (“I was tired.”  “It was a bad day.”  “I did a tough workout Wednesday.”).  I’m going to embrace my feelings of failure.

And then, I’m going to let them go.

I will set new goals.  I will add more lifting into my workout schedule with Andy.  I will not shy away from my failure.  I will remember how it made me feel and I will turn it into success.

Feelings are fleeting.  Drive pushes us forward.  Accept what you feel, but don’t let that distract you from your path.

The bar didn’t budge

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It’s very apparent I haven’t been doing heavy deadlifts.

Crossfit Total Part 2
1-1-1
Deadlift

Results:
145-165-185

As Andy didn’t hesitate to remind me this morning, there is a danger with returning to exercise/weight lifting and thinking you can go right back to where you were.

In June, I set a PR on deadlift (at 6 months pregnant).  In August, I had to step back because of my pregnancy.  Obviously, I’m still building back up to where I was.

The 185# on the bar… well… I couldn’t even lift it off the ground.  The bar wouldn’t budge.  Zach told me not to sweat it — I’ll get it next time.  And you know what?  I will.

Miss positive “Cindyanna” knows that I have come an incredibly long way in the past few months, and while I have my goals and wish I could be bad ass right now, I also need to take care to avoid injury and realize I don’t have as far to go as many other women who just had a baby.

I’m gonna get there.  I’m gonna get stronger.

Answer: All of the above?

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The last of the Thanksgiving leftovers are right now going into a Turkey Curry recipe, the pumpkin cheesecake was polished off by our resident dessert expert, Luke, and the other leftovers disappeared days ago.

Now that T-Day is behind us, I can feel the pre-Christmas frenzy descending.  It seems like my to-do list grew by feet within just a matter of days.

With everything going on, it should come as no surprise that I’m not quite 100%.  The boys have been sick;  I may be fighting off a virus;  I haven’t taken time to sleep enough; and the weather has been oscillating between hot and cold.  Also I indulged in a piece of gluten-free but highly sugary spice cake on Friday and I’m only now feeling its effects leave my system.

Maybe that explains my off day for:

Crossfit Total (Part 1)
1-1-1
Back Squat
Shoulder Press

I felt really weak, and my numbers showed it.  Not only was I unable to PR, but I also couldn’t even lift the weight I know I can do.

Back squat: 115-125-145
Press: 60-65-65

Not my strongest lifts.  Not even close.  Andy’s first thought was the virus.  Then I suggested lack of sleep (Mads got me up in the middle of the night).  We kept naming possibilities when I finally said — maybe it’s everything.

Bottom line, every day is different.  Today wasn’t my strongest day.  On the other hand, I felt really fast during the warmup run.

At least I can look on the bright side.  Hopefully I don’t sound too much like a Pollyanna.

Light deadlifts

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Normally I love deadlifts, but they’re not good for me now.  So my Crossfit Total numbers were low Thursday.

Deadlift
1-1-1

Results: 135-145-150

I think my total was 355 (which included Tuesday’s back squat and press)

We finished up the morning with:

3 rounds
45 lunges (holding a 6# or 8# med ball in front)
30 pushups
25 sit ups (I substituted side sit ups)

There was no clock running, but we had roughly 12 minutes to finish.  I finished 2 rounds + 40 lunges before time was called.

I also did a couple of workouts at home on Wednesday and Saturday (rested on Friday).

Wednesday

30-20-10
One-armed DB snatch (20#)
Lean/squat pull (w/ middle band)
Squats

Time: 9:59

Saturday

For 15 min do:
5 Thrusters (55#)
7 Sumo Deadlift High Pull (55#)
10 Hang Power Cleans (55#)

Results: 5 rounds + 5 thrusters + 6 SDLHP @ 45#

A new PR at 9 months….

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At this stage in pregnancy, I feel huge, I feel awkward, and I feel like a freak.  I try not to let it get me down, but the looks I get can be bothersome.  But there is one place (other than home or doctor’s office) where I feel completely accepted and supported.

My Crossfit class rocks, and I’m going to miss seeing all of my friends during the 6 weeks I’m off after the baby arrives.  The due date is just over 2 weeks away, so time is ticking.

I’m very aware that people are looking at my belly at Crossfit, but I don’t feel like a freak — I’m proud of it.  It gives me huge kicks to see the newbies in the Elements class stare at me or the women’s class (which is weird because that class has 2 pregnant women in it).

I have joked that it wouldn’t surprise me one bit if my water broke during a WOD.  I wonder what I would do.  (I wonder what Zach and my classmates would do!)  Would I clean up and finish?  Or would I stop right there?  Ha-ha — knowing me, I would finish the workout and have a friend drive me home.

So far, so good — nothing like that.

In fact, getting to the point of today’s post, today was a benchmark, and I’m happy I set a PR on a lift that’s been tough for me since the very beginning.

Crossfit Total (Part 1)
1-1-1
Back Squat
Shoulder Press

Results:

Back squat
115-125-135
Press
60-65-70

I really meant to keep the weight much lower on back squat.  I didn’t realize I had loaded the bar with 115 instead of 105.  Still, my max is 145, so I didn’t go TOO heavy.  I probably should have reduced the weight much more significantly.  On Thursday for deadlift, I will not go anywhere near my max.  It will be fairly light.

But overhead lifts are pretty safe for me right now, as long as I’m smart about them.  It’s more to make sure I don’t drop the bar on myself or strain my back (because of an altered center of gravity).  It looks like the presses I’ve been doing at home with the bar and 25# dumbbells have been paying off — the old max was 65#, and I hit 70#!  I’ve been trying for 70# for the past year.  It’s nice to finally hit it, and do it while 9 months pregnant!

I can’t wait for the elements class to see what I can do at this stage next week — I know two of the people who signed up, and their jaws dropped when they found out I’m still working out.  :)

‘Total’ time

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I was really proud of what I accomplished during Crossfit Total — one of the CC monthly benchmarks –  this week.  I wanted to scream it from the hills, call up all my friends — or at least write it on Facebook.

What held me back were two things — 1) all my friends think I’m a workout nut already because of how much I post about Crossfit and 2) I was afraid of being tut-tutted or yelled at because of my current state.

We’re in week 26, people — just a week away from the 3rd trimester.

So instead, I write here.

Crossfit Total
1-1-1
Back squat
Shoulder Press
Deadlift

We split this up — back squat and shoulder press on Tuesday, deadlift on Thursday.

I scratched a lot when we did this 3 months ago, and I don’t think I reached my PR’s then either.  This time, I maintained what I set in December (a time I like to call BB: Before Baby), and I even set a PR.

Back squat: 105-135-145
Shoulder press: 55-60-65
Deadlift: 175-185-190 PR!
Total: 400

Ahhh, it’s nice to feel strong.  Better than feeling like a boat, I’ll tell you that.  I’m not sure I’ll be able to do that in three months, but that doesn’t matter right now.  What matters is I’m strong, healthy and ready for tomorrow.