Hold on at the fork in the road…

In less than 2 weeks the furniture will be loaded onto a truck and hauled hundreds of miles south. I’m alone here in Nashville, packing the house. It’s falling apart around me. I started packing months ago, but now it’s really coming down and the reality of moving is sinking in. I don’t think I really felt it before. But now that the rooms are stark, save for brown boxes, it really feels like I’m leaving. The feeling is bittersweet. Do you ever want two things at once, but know that only one can happen? I want to move to Austin so bad I can taste it. I want to be with my husband, play with my dogs, live in my new house, get to know my brother-in-law better, and settle into my new Austin life. But I also want to stay close to my friends in Nashville, experience the seasons, see the azaleas and red buds bloom each spring, visit Big South Fork on a whim, and be just 4 hours from my parents. It’s all slipping away, and the only sounds I can make are a whimper and a sigh. Doors open, doors close. At each fork in the road we have to make a choice, and Andy and I made ours. Choices are always tough, and they come with consequences. Sometimes those consequences are good, sometimes they aren’t so good. That’s life. But while I accept that, I also can’t help but reflect on the past 3 and a half years. I’m so glad we moved here. Sure, the job didn’t work out. A lot of things didn’t go as planned. But I learned a lot, and a lot of really great things DID happen… friendships, life lessons, companions… SIGH. It was good. I just wish I could hold on just a little while longer…