I hate leaving work, then realizing, 2 days later, that I forgot to do something before I left. I forgot to make a link to Friday night football. Very small in reality, but a responsibility I totally forgot about, and I really hate that. Now it’s going to gnaw at me until tomorrow morning when my boss asks me why I forgot. Gees. It’s not like I would lose my job over that, but it just screams irresponsibility, and I don’t want that hanging over my head.
I guess it’s obvious I’m a little on edge if something like that bugs me. I’ve been thinking about that documentary I haven’t sat down to work on since June. I had a whole day free to work on it, and what do you know? Wow.. I didn’t work on it. Big surprise. I often question my own dedication and drive. It would get done if I really wanted it. Apparently, I don’t. Apparently, I’m just living for the moment… taking that paycheck to tide us over now instead of spending time on something that, at one time, I thought was really important.
I almost had a nervous breakdown today when Andy echoed some of those same thoughts about his project. I made him swear not to quit. I begged him not to give up. In my mind, he is the guy who’s inspired me to dream outside of the 9 to 5 job, because he’s been working on something he believes in. And if he gives up, who will I look up to? His work reminds me of my own. Yes, I’ve been goofing off, and subconsciously subverting his work at the same time. I guess this is a wake up call to shape up and get back to business.