Overwhelmed by reality

Ever feel like there’s so much you have to do… you’re so overwhelmed by “to do” tasks… that you don’t accomplish anything?
Oh gees… that’s how I feel.

I could go on and on about the tasks around the house that Andy I undertook… the landscaping… the home improvements… making room for baby… but that’s not what bothers me the most.
It’s that all my video projects got shoved into a corner and I have no idea when I’ll be able to pick them up again.  It makes me sick.

My brother asked me last week how long I was going to stay with my job… when was I going to quit and go after my dream again?  All I could do was studder some response like I needed the money… but the question caught me so off guard… I hadn’t thought about my dream of producing documentaries in a long time. 
It seems so out of reach.  I think I finally understand how Andy feels when he tells me he has no time to pursue his dreams.  And no money.
I swore to him that I would find a way to make it possible for him…  I really did.  I will find a way to save up the money and give him the time.  I really will.

As for my dreams… well, it would help if I could get up off my lazy ass and spend some time researching and writing the Keyser Farm documentary.  You think there will be time once baby arrives?
Who knows…  I’m sure lots of people would tell me, “No way in hell”… but then again, they might not be quite as determined and stubborn as I am.  I really hate it when people tell me I can’t do something.  I’m usually more bound and determined to make sure I do it.
The same is true when people say I’m going to do something I really don’t want to do… like buy a minivan.  No way in hell.  But thanks for helping me stick to my guns.